Part I
It was pitch dark with a candle shining like a beacon of light, dispelling the gloom and darkness… Load-shedding was in full swing in the chilly winter evening in Rourkela, and may be it was the coldest day of the season. I was about to complete my work, and thinking what to do next. If you’ve ever been alone, you’ll understand Einstein's Theory, which said that time passes according to the situation you’re in! For me, alone in the new city and not having much acquaintance, every passing work-free second seemed like an eternity. I sat, staring at the candle, the chill and the darkness in the room seemed to be touching my bones and I seem to go back to old times… the day which was like this load-shedding day, dark, damp and with no hope in sight!
Part II
It was 2002, Inter School Football Tournament, my final chance to represent my school (Xavier’s, Durgapur) football team, for which I had given more than just sweat… and yet I lay numb at the hospital with a severely stitched eye. We had already gone to the final, and yet it was not for me to play. I was the stopper of my team, and in the 2 years that I represented, we had the record of keeping our goal untouched! Obviously, it’s a proud distinction for any defense of a football team.
The game was pulsating and we were defending stoutly our solitary goal lead. It wasn’t a new proposition for us, and we’re up to the task. All of a sudden, a routine overhead pass came through, which I sought to head and clear… I kept my focus on the ball, and rose to meet it in mid air… There was connection, a few to many for my liking! I had connected with the ball and steered my team of any danger and yet the elbow of my opponent crashed into my eye. There was pain, but I was too engrossed in the game to understand the magnitude of the damage. Suddenly, there was blood… and I couldn’t see anything! Next, I was lying in a hospital bed, with doctors covering the blood and deciding how to stitch the wound back.
When I came to my proper senses, it was late in the evening, there was certain dizziness, but the moment I thought about it, missing the final came to my mind. This very thought, increased the pain. I asked the nearby doctor about my recovery chances, and he said I needed a fortnight to heal completely. It was too late… final was only 5 days later! I was kept in the hospital overnight just for precautionary measure, though I didn’t like to… but I guess that was the turning point!
I was advised complete rest, and I lay there staring at the dark hall helplessly… with disappointment engulfing me with every passing minute, it was like this load-shedding moment… chilly, dark & damp! Suddenly, the light of a struck match and a subsequent candle surprised me… I wondered, in these wee hours of the night which patient was awake! I rose to see, a cute little girl, maybe 7 – 8 years old. She noticed me, but without any word, knelt and started praying silently. She herself reflected the light & warmth of the candle, looked like a guardian angel! I was fascinated and moved near her bed.
She became aware of my presence, yet unmoved continued her prayers. I waited… just couldn’t bring myself to disturb her prayers… there was a serenity around her, like some force emanating from her which gave me a certain push to kneel down myself and join her in prayer!
The silence of the ward had a calming soothing effect and I prayed to God for some miracle to get me recovered in time for the final. After the prayer, I looked at her and asked her, why the odd time… and why is she awake till late in the night. Her answer was, “I wish to stay awake for whatever time that’s left in my life”, saying that she moved her hand to her hair, which to my shock, fell off (it was a wig)! She was bald… the truth dawned upon me… she had cancer, which one I don’t know, but its effects had started to imprint on this little girl.
Part III
I played in the final, we won it as well, after all we were the favorites! While I was there lifting the cup with my friends… I looked up in the heavens… thanked God, that He gave me the chance to meet her angel, ‘Khushi’ was her name. Why, so? Well, we had chatted the whole night, Khushi learnt all about me, and I about her. I couldn’t help but notice, her concern for her parents, relatives and even for her ward-mates in the hospital… even in her condition she was smiling and answering my questions!
She had her hopes intact and said, “Death is not end of the journey, but another beginning!” I couldn’t comprehend how this little girl had the courage, enthusiasm and the spirit to face life even when it had been so unfair to her! She also explained me God’s doings, and said she doesn’t need a reason to be angry with Him!
I realized that even though it’s not in our hands to decide how much life we have to live, but it’s in our hands to decide how much life we fill into our lives and how we spend the moments that are given to us. I drew inspiration from the little girl, facing death, and yet living life to the fullest, spreading a smile always… no matter what time of the night be it!
I left the hospital the next day, and vowed to give myself the best chance to be ready for the match. The infectious spirit that my “candle-girl” has bestowed upon me, urged me on. I stopped taking any sugar related food to quicken my healing, as well as religiously followed the medicine routine. I was ready, my coach wasn’t prepared to risk me, and yet I had to convince him on this one. I did play, and the rest they say is a little history of my own!
After the game, I made a point to visit Khushi. As I entered the ward, an empty bed stared at me. I blanked, knowing what would be coming… I looked at the nurse, didn’t have the strength to ask. Before she replied, I knew the answer… Khushi was gone! Leaving this mother earth, without a complaint or a grimace… with an unfaltering smile, and so many people whose life she had touched and given light & direction, just like a “candle”!
Even today, as I look into a candle, I recall those eyes, the infectious laughter and spirit of an angel, and hope someday in some other form will get to see her once again. Hope remains!